The Monsters Within Us
by Lyn Harkeran
Summary: While in the dungeons of Asgard, Loki is reunited with an old acquaintance who promises to stand by him despite the things he's done. But how can she be so quick to love a monster? Unless . . . ? Loki/OC
1. The Monsters Within Us

**The Monsters Within Us**

* * *

The sky was dark and dismal gray rain fell from the heavens in a torrent of water and despair. Such weather conditions were rare in the Realm Eternal, and due to this, the streets of Asgard were scarce of life.

From the sanctuary of her home, a single woman watched the rain cascade and let several tears escape her soft amber eyes; staining her porcelain cheeks with miniature rivers.

The woman- whose name was Bryn- reached up a hesitant hand to swipe at her face, and then returned her steady gaze back to the winding streets and regal dwellings of Asgard. But as she looked out over the maelstrom of buildings and rain, she was blinded; sightless to any of her surroundings or past obligations. For her mind was preoccupied with something so massive that she could comprehend nothing else.

Only one thing prevailed upon her senses, and that was a face. It was the face of someone dear to her, who she had long since thought dead. The face of someone she had loved and lost.

Bryn's eyes closed as his name sounded throughout her mind, like a long forgotten song. And as it echoed throughout her head, a shaky breath hissed past her lips and entered into the otherwise silent room. It was a name she had avoided for almost two years. . . A name she had said more often than most others.

_. . . . Loki . . . . _

The woman clasped her hands together in a death-like grip as countless memories flooded her mind's eye. And she was overtaken by violent tremors throughout her body as unbidden emotions raced to swallow her whole. Memories of smiles, and shared dreams, and secret meetings at the Bifrost. Memories of magic lessons and kisses.

. . . Memories of the one she had given her heart to . . .

A day prior, Bryn had received word that Thor had returned from the Midgard with his brother in tow. And only several hours ago, Loki had been tried and his sentence passed. He had been found guilty by the All-Father, and was to be imprisoned for the rest of his days. Forgotten and alone, until the moment his body matched his soul and gave out. A horrific existence and a sorrowful end, a life lost to the never-ending waves of time.

And it was more than Bryn could bear.

Though Loki's crimes on the Midgardian Realm warranted swift action and punishment, Odin couldn't have chosen a more twisted fate for his adopted son. For Loki had never done well in confined spaces, due to his free nature and mischievous personality. So to place him knowingly in a secluded magical box for an infinite amount of time was nothing short of heartless.

It seemed that in his anger and will to purge the realms of his second son, Odin had become just as depraved and spiteful, as the one he tried to snuff-out. And it was sickening to behold.

Bryn didn't know how long she stood, staring out at nothing and everything, but once her tremors and tears had died down, she was immediately moved to action.

Moving away from the window, the determined woman strode towards her personal study with a quick step. She would go to see Loki. She would talk to him, and try to gain some semblance of truth in the process.

But first, she would need some supplies.

* * *

The game was finally over.

After what felt like centuries, there was nothing left to do but wait. All that remained was darkness, anger, and failure. And it consumed every waking thought Loki had. He had come too far, and altered so much, and in the end it hadn't even mattered.

His existence as a whole could be summed up in a single phrase: _not good enough. _

Though Loki had always tried his utmost- whether it was to beat Thor, or just to be accepted- he had never been good enough. Not once- even with the Chitauri Legion in his wake and the Tesseract placed firmly in his palm- had he succeeded. He had never known what it was like to win, and it seemed that he would never get the chance.

Loki had once more proven his blatant worthlessness, and he would forever rot for it. This was it; the disgusting magnum opus of a Jotun monster- the unremarkable finale of a prince who had always lived in the shadows. The end of his tale, concluded within a prim, isolated prison cell.

This thought would have been enough to make a weaker being cry. But Loki wasn't _weak_. The second son, yes. The lying, murdering trickster, yes. A failure in the eyes of all those who had ever known him, yes! But _not _weak. . . _Never _weak.

So Loki lay down on his cot and _smiled. _A great, toothy, maniacal grin- that showed his inner anguish better than any tears could have- and let a shaky chuckle fly forth into the silence. He might never leave his cage again, but Loki knew that he wouldn't give the All-Father the satisfaction of festering away as a timid mistake.

Oh no.

Loki vowed as his grin grew painfully wide. He would smile- as a sure sign of defiance- until his final breath. Even if he never saw another being, other than the guards who had been ordered not to speak to him: He. Would. _Smile_!

Or at least, that was Loki's plan until the warrior standing outside his cell collapsed into a limp heap.

* * *

Bryn instantly felt remorse as the prison guard fell to the solid stone beneath him, and offered his still form a silent apology. Though she had only put the guard to sleep temporarily, Bryn knew that the poor man would awake with a horrendous headache and sore eyes.

But there was nothing for it; it couldn't be helped, and she wouldn't linger on the details any longer than she had already. She had more important things to attend to than the guilt over the guards' health.

So slowly, Bryn moved from the safety of the shadowed columns and hesitantly approached Loki's cell. At first, the woman couldn't see him, and feared she had come to the wrong part of the dungeons. But as she came to stand before the magical barrier, Bryn spotted him, and her breath caught in her throat. For there Loki sat upon his prison cot, facing her expectantly with a glint of curiosity shining in his attentive blue-green eyes.

He was waiting. And before she could think better of it, Bryn reached up and pulled down the hood that she had used to cover her face, giving him the opportunity to see her.

As the material slid past down past her ears and neck, the woman saw recognition cloud Loki's face and felt a tingle of apprehension run down the length of her spine. It had been more than two years since they had beheld each other, and the effect of their reunion was completely indescribable.

Both were silent for a long moment before Loki said calmly, "The cowl doesn't suit you, my dear."

"Doesn't it?"

Loki shook his head, "Not in the slightest. A great beauty like yours should be flaunted at every opportunity, lest it perish by lack of attention."

"I see your charm and Silver Tongue still thrive," Bryn shook her head with a short laugh. "For you know I have never been considered beautiful, nor have I been conceited enough to ponder how long my tender age will last. So why would I start to worry about such a thing now, when it has never bothered me before?"

At her simple teasing, Loki's manner grew serious, as did his next words; a quiet caution compared to his lighter banter of moments before.

"You must find yourself a life-mate soon, yes? Thus you must take care of your beauty for the Asgardian you will be bonded to."

Bryn's smile faded, as she too grew serious, her heart aching silently as she met his familiar gaze.

"I _had _a life-mate. . . There is no other one, Loki," she said firmly. Neither before nor _after, _and there never will be."

As soon as the words had left her lips, Loki's face showed a brief flicker of emotion before his guarded facade snapped back into place. She had gotten to him. She had gotten too close for comfort, and he was shutting himself away. . . And it broke her heart.

With a swift movement, Loki stood from his cot and came to stop before his visitor. Bryn knew that he was using their considerable height differences to intimidate her, and decidedly stood her ground because of it, making a strange grin form on his handsome face.

"So I take it you've heard of my monstrous deeds on the Midgard?"

"Yes," Bryn answered truthfully, though no judgment clouded her tone. "I have heard."

Loki chuckled bitterly as he rested his hand on the golden barrier just above her head. "So you had to come see for yourself, did you? You had to witness the transformation with your own eyes, because it was beyond your belief? You couldn't comprehend me doing such dastardly things?"

Bryn met his powerful gaze with a calm set of amber brown eyes, and shook her head.

"I _could_ comprehend, and I know that you _did _do what others have claimed."

"Then why have you come," Loki asked lowly, his tone deep and predatory as his fingers clenched and re-clenched against the magical glass. "To mourn the passing of my innocence? To call me to atone? To pass hate upon the Jotun monster who you sold your soul to?-"

"I came to tell you, that I still stand by you," Bryn interrupted with a slight hitch in her voice.

Loki paused for a moment before he began to laugh. But it wasn't a laugh of happiness or joy. It was a sick, twisted, desolate sound that spoke of years of pain and disappointment. And as his laughter subsided his eyes grew angry.

"You cannot stand by me," he spat viciously. "You _will not _stand by me!"

"Why do you think that," Bryn asked, pressing her on hand to the place where Loki's was. "Why do you not believe me?"

"Because I'm the monster parents tell their children about at night!" Loki barked. "And people _do not_ love MONSTERS!"

Bryn couldn't stop the tears that slipped from her eyes, as his words echoed throughout the stillness. Did he honestly believe that? How could he think such a thing?

Loki saw the crystalline tears fall, and a knowing look gained purchase over his features. And when she was silent, Loki assumed she agreed with him.

"Go find your life-mate, Bryn," he said with a small semblance of tenderness. "Never return to this foul place again. . . One such as you is not meant for this temple of scorn and isolation."

As his words sunk in, it was Bryn's turn to laugh, but unlike Loki's it held actual humor.

"Not a place for me?"

Loki's face betrayed nothing as he answered.

"No."

Bryn slowly slid her hand down from the barrier and took a step back, her eyes never leaving Loki's as she made a life-altering decision.

"You're wrong, beloved," she offered softly as more tears left her eyes. "For the den of monsters is _exactly _where I should be."

Bryn focused on all her inner-magic and felt the glamour that had protected her for so long, disappear. No more lies. No more half-truths. No more disguises.

Only _monsters._

Loki uttered no sound as Bryn began to transform before his very eyes, but his face and posture spoke volumes. Where there had only been anger and conviction, now there was surprise and awe. For the woman who now stood before him, looked nothing like the woman he had known.

Where her eyes had been soft amber brown, they now shone an otherworldly blue, and where her hair had been burnished red and brown, silver-white strands fell. And where toned skin had once peeked out beneath Asgardian robes, now pale moon-kissed flesh was exposed.

Bryn gave him a small smile as she leaned forward to place a kiss to the magical barrier. A kiss meant for his lips alone, and willed him to know how she felt.

Bryn had always been afraid to show Loki her true form- that of a Dark Elf- but now nothing held her back. If he insisted on being a Jotun monster, then she would join him as an accursed Dark Elf. And she would be his equal, no matter what form she took.

"You are not alone, Loki," Bryn whispered lovingly as she once more raised her hand to the glass. "Whether you're a monster or not, I _will _stand beside you. And I _will _see what lies beneath. That much, I promise you."

Loki didn't say a word as he studied her, but he didn't need to. Not when his intense blue-green eyes said it all for him. For there was no loathing or fear, or disgust. Only open admiration. And despite the past, and all that had happened, in that moment of silence and companionship, both Jotun Prince and Dark Elf felt beautiful.

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_ This story was written for a dear friend of mine who wanted a drabble of her OC Bryn and Loki. This is the result. I hope you all enjoyed!

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel, Loki, Tom Hiddleston (damn), or Asgard. Bryn belongs to Aurosai on deviantart. **_

**_~Lyn Harkeran_**


	2. Now and Always

**Now and Always**

* * *

It was midnight in the Realm Eternal, but to a certain young lady who currently looked out on the silent sheen of night; this fact wasn't something to be regretted. For in Bryn's world- as of late- it was _always _midnight.

As a Dark Elf, Bryn had always loved the way the moon looked canvassed upon a black and blue sky, but this was not the reason she looked forward to the dark hours _now_. It was the peace and solitude from the everyday Asgardians that made her evenings her highlight.

Bryn gazed up at the starlit sky in silent awe, and felt her heart stutter at the welcome sight. These days, the fragile beauties of the night were the only pleasures that the woman could enjoy. So much had happened; everything had changed, and due to this alteration the Dark Elf lass had put herself into seclusion.

As the events of the past few months crowded back into her weary mind, the woman cringed painfully. Though time had flown by, the ache in her heart had only grown. For how could you _stop_ hurting when the two people you loved the most were dead?

_Loki. . . . _

_And her father, Malekith . . . _

_Her Life Mate. . . . _

_And her only family-member. . . _

Bryn knew that her face had fallen, but for all the inner-strength she had once possessed, she now couldn't muster a single smile. Though she had tried and tried to make her lips rise.

Every day since the morning she had learned of her beloved's passing, and her father's demise by Thor's hand, Bryn had fought to smile. In the hopes that perhaps one day the show of positive emotion might not be false . . . But since then, she hadn't been able to conjure up even _one_ tightlipped grin. And as more time passed, the woman was sure that she'd never be able to smile again.

Bryn sighed gently into the night air, once more looking out from her balcony to the shining city of Asgard. And as she observed its regal splendor, she once more loathed it. Everywhere her gaze fell; there was hateful happiness and overbearing memories- for her and even for other members of the community. And with each recalled recollection of joy the woman was forced to _feel. _Forced to embrace her ever spreading pain, and the bittersweet taste of the love she had once known so well: the love of Loki, and the stern, guiding presence of her father Malekith the Accursed. The only people she had ever truly trusted . . . the only people she had ever believed in or cared about.

And now both were _gone_.

With one last gaze out into the beautiful night, Bryn turned her back on the moon and stars. She would have stayed out on the balcony until morning came- as her usual routine dictated- but she had received a summons from the All-Father earlier that day. She was meant to appear the next morning- and despite her newly found devil-may-care attitude towards the Aesir and their way of life- the woman knew that it was a command she would have to obey.

So with a heavy, burdened heart, Bryn got ready for sleep. And as she lay down against the soft covers of her downy bed, she made an altering decision. After her meeting with Odin she would prepare herself. She couldn't stay in Asgard any longer . . . she couldn't continue the way she had. So instead of accepting what she had been given, Bryn would take her destiny into her own hands.

Tomorrow, after she visited with the King, she would meet her end. Tomorrow she would leave her pain and now acrid memories behind. . . But until the morrow, she would dream of happier times. When a young mischievous God had held her close, and the anxious butterflies in her stomach had been from his sweet kisses, rather than the thought of what the morning would bring.

* * *

Bryn had only ever talked to the All-Father when Loki was with her; when she had been intended to join the royal family as the younger prince's bride. A good year or so before Thor's banishment and Loki's fall from the Bifrost Bridge.

Now as the young elf woman- her Asgardian disguise fully in place- walked through the halls of Valhalla she wondered what the All-Father wished to discuss with her. Even when she had been close to both of his sons- Loki as a mate, and Thor as a friend- Odin had never specifically pulled her aside, or talked to her. And now she was to have a private counsel with him for a matter that still remained unknown. In truth, the very idea was terrifying to her, but Bryn would hold her ground; as she always had, and always would. She might be leaving the world of the living after this encounter, but that didn't mean that she would disgrace herself before that time. She was warrior, and would keep her head held high, until the very end.

Bryn proceeded down the lengthy halls, closely matching the stride of the guard who was escorting her, and forced her mind to focus. She would need all of her wits about her when she finally spoke to Odin; there could be no room for flighty thoughts or emotional memories. This was _now, _and that had been _then. _She had to stay in the moment: to hear what the All-Father wanted, then say her piece in return, and leave. No more, and no less.

Finally, after several more minutes of brisk walking, the guard stopped before a single door on the side of the hall- much to Bryn's surprise. The woman had expected to be taken to the main hall, not to a side chamber in the royal apartments. Odin never counsel with lower subjects- even if they were upper class- anywhere save the main hall or ballroom.

After a polite moment of pause, the guard stepped aside for her, and formally placed his hands behind his back.

"The King is waiting for you just inside, Milady. Please feel free to enter."

Bryn gave a single nod of thanks to the guard before she took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and reached for the door handle. But just as her fingers were about to tighten around the knob, the door opened of its own accord. Startled, the woman retreated a step; but when the guard gave her an encouraging smile, she once more approached the doorway. With small steps, the woman entered and was surprised to see the door close behind her- once more without any Aesir hand to prompt it.

And as the clicked shut behind her, Bryn knew that there was no going back. So, the woman did the only probable thing in her situation: she moved further into the chamber with baited breath.

* * *

The royal chamber was dimly lit; large curtains drawn over the windows making it hard to see. But being blessed with the eyesight of a Dark Elf, Bryn was able to locate the All-Father at a glance. Though to keep her true heritage a secret, she pretended to look around aimlessly for several moments- seemingly sightless in the dark. The last thing Bryn needed was suspicion, so she wouldn't give anyone reason to be curious. She had lived many years a lamb amongst sheep and as such she had learned to cover her tracks well.

Odin- the All-Father and King of the Realm Eternal- stood with his back to her, looking off to something only he could see. He was relaxed as he gazed off, but it was clear that he was alert and aware of her arrival. His bearing was dignified and absolute; marking his royalty better than any crown ever could have. Though to Bryn, his royal standing meant very little.

For several minutes Bryn stood in silence- respectfully waiting for him to speak- and when her patience was rewarded the Dark Elf in disguise internally breathed a sigh of relief.

"Welcome, Lady Bryn. I trust your journey was a good one?"

Bryn lived several good miles away from the Palace, and she had had to ride for a good part of the morning to make her summoning in time. And though her journey had in fact been pleasing, the woman was surprised. She hadn't known that the All-Father knew of her residency, or furthermore, that he cared to.

"I thank you, my King," she answered plainly. "My travels were indeed pleasant; it is a beautiful morning."

Odin accepted this answer, and turned around to look at his guest- though there was no hurry in his movements. He appraised Bryn with his one good eye, before he spoke again.

"I suppose you are wondering why I summoned you here."

Bryn kept her face completely impassive. "Yes, All-Father, I had pondered as to why you wished to speak to me. Seeing as we have not been frequent acquaintances and neither of us has spoken to the other since your son fell."

"You speak of Loki?"

Bryn nodded.

"Then you would do well to refrain from granting him the title of _son_," Odin stated calmly. "He has not been my son for many cycles now."

Bryn was silent for a moment, as her heart continued to break for the one she had loved. Even his own father had abandoned him. Did he not mourn for the child he had once held? Did he feel no remorse at all for the role he had played in Loki's fall from grace?

So many questions rose unbidden in Bryn's mind.

"Can a person's actions truly change their family bonds, sire?" The question was out before Bryn could think better of it, and she mentally chided herself. She was playing with fire, challenging Odin so openly. But now there was nothing for it. What was said was said.

Odin regarded Bryn for a long moment, before he moved to speak. But he did not answer the woman's question. Instead he moved to some inquiries of his own.

"Do you still stand by Loki of Jotunheim, Lady Bryn? After all the monstrosities he has committed? After all the lives he has destroyed? Do you believe that his crimes can be purged, after all he has done?"

Bryn met the gaze of the All-Father head on, though tears had begun to form in her tired amber eyes. "I stand by Loki- Prince of Asgard _and_ of Jotunheim- in _all_ things," she whispered. "I always have and I always will."

"Even with a flow of death and torment following in his wake?"

"I did not agree with his methods when he went to the Midgard," Bryn said truthfully. "But I loved him no matter what he did; in life _and_ death I chose him_. _There has never been another I have trusted or loved more. And there never will be."

Odin studied the woman before him with a strange expression. "What you admit is treason."

Finally, for the first time in months Bryn's lips upturned into a smile- and it felt glorious. Though, her reason for smiling wasn't exactly what she had hoped for, it gave her more courage than she'd ever thought possible.

"Why, yes," she said quietly, her smile still in place. "Yes, it is."

Odin's readable expression briefly flickered to something else, and Bryn felt a wave of confusion. Why was the All-Father asking her these questions? Why did he care to know about this _now_?

"You stand by him, even when it could mean your end." It wasn't a question; for Odin already knew the answer.

"I do," Bryn agreed. "But now that he is gone from the living, I am afraid that he never believed me when I told him as much. . . I fear that- that. . ."

Odin slowly took several steps towards Bryn- and to her everlasting surprise- placed a hand on her shoulder.

"What is it that you fear, Bryn?"

The woman's eyes held blatant disbelief as she lifted them to regard the King. Never before had the All-Father called her by her name alone, and never had he touched her. But somehow, as she looked at his calm face, she found herself answering him all the same.

"I fear that Loki never knew how much I loved him," she replied emotionally. "I _fear_ . . . that he never fully understood when I told him that I needed him. . . And now . . . I will never get the chance to make him believe me."

Bryn had been looking down at the floor while she spoke, but when Odin's hand on her shoulder tightened at her words, she raised her amber eyes to see him. And at the tender smile that met her, the woman froze.

"You need not fear, Bryn," the All-Father said lovingly. "He has always known, and now he understands without question the extent of your devotion."

Bryn's brow crinkled. "You can't say that for certain, sire. . . You can't presume to speak for Loki; not now or ever again."

Odin's smile became larger- an actual smirk- before he said with a laugh, "Actually, my dear. I most certainly _can." _

Then- as Bryn watched with now tearful eyes- the All-Father began to transform. Bathed in a shower of green, misty light it was impossible to tell what was happening at first. But then as the smoky light cleared, a broken cry escaped the Dark Elf. For there, standing beside her wasn't Odin. In his place stood the one that had been claimed dead; the one that Bryn had thought lost forever.

"L-Loki," Bryn cried, her face transforming into a beaming vision of tears and joy as she beheld him. "Y-You're alive!"

Loki gave her a tender smile as he gazed down upon her lovely face. "Yes, darling, I'm alive."

Bryn shook her head in disbelief, before a watery laugh echoed forth from her lips. "Y-You came back to me!"

"I _always_ come back to what's mine," Loki answered deeply, before he hesitantly reached out his hand to cup Bryn's cheek. He sighed softly at the contact, before he said lowly, "Oh, how I've missed that."

"Are you really here?" Bryn hopefully reached out her own hand to cup Loki's cheek, mirroring his actions, and gasped when cool flesh met her palm.

"I am," Loki answered. "And after that lovely declaration you just made, I doubt I will ever be able to leave your side again."

Bryn laughed once more, enjoying the feeling of her Life Mate's hand on her skin before she let her glamor spell slip. And as it did so, her true form as a Dark Elf reappeared.

Once the transformation was completely, Bryn's ethereal blue eyes once more lifted to look at Loki. And the sight that met her made the she-elf intake a raspy breath. For the clear _want_ in Loki's eyes was enough to make her heart break for an entirely new reason.

"You are beautiful, my darling," he whispered gently, before lowering his now Jotun-blue lips to hers, kissing her with the longing of years of separation and suppressed passion. "Unequaled and unchallenged by all who surround you; now and _always_."

"As are you, my handsome prince," Bryn whispered back against Loki's lips, before repeating the promise. "_Now_ and _always_."


End file.
